Krazy Busy

It seems that my mania has tapered off. So, this post might not be nearly as exciting as previous posts. Mr. C is on my nerves, STILL, but I've still kept up with this ongoing affair. I'm not sure why. Then again, if I understood the reason behind the things I do I wouldn't need therapy. As if life isn't fucked up enough for me, my younger sister goes and triples my stress level. She decided to hop on the family bandwagon & become a "recreational drug user". Her words, not mine. Someone turned her into to Child Protective Services, and they decided it was best to place her 2 children with relatives while they investigate. Her 2yr old is with her paternal grandmother, & I have the 15 month old. My child has been out of diapers for quite some time. Having to go back to diapers, sippy cups, & soon to be potty training is NOT WHAT I PLANNED ON DOING THIS SUMMER! In my opinion, most of what was reported is true. However, my sister maintains her innocence. I love my sister, but when the baby's hair follicle showed positive for drugs, you aren't exactly innocent.

What is usually a 45 day investigation, will likely turn into something a tad bit longer. We also expect that my sister will be criminally charged, due to the positive hair follicle test on the baby. I have been clean of illegal drugs for what seems like forever. My whole family pretty much consists of alcoholics & junkies. Hell, the harshest drug I ever did was cocaine. Now I hear Meth is all the rage. Being in my wiser years, I'll settle for a klonopin & a cold beer here, and there. My mania is enough of a "high" for me. You can keep that other shit. I can barely afford to pay bills & buy food. What the fuck would I look like buying drugs?

I'm a lot of things....promiscuous, bitchy, stubborn, & a lil bit krazy, but a child abuser isn't one of them. I would trade my life for that of a child's. I have been a little overwhelmed taking care of an extra kid. This whole thing has been a bit of a culture shock. I am a little nervous that the state may question my ability to parent due to having been certified krazy. I have had to enlist the help of friends, because it is hard. I have days where I can't get out of bed. I have crying spells, and intense periods of anxiety. All of that makes my job as a parent tough. Having an older child, I can get away with a day in the bed here & there. A baby changes that for me. A baby changes a lot actually. I forgot what a cock blocker babies can be. I've had to get real creative to find time to get laid. Hell, by the time the kids are asleep, all I want to do is sleep. I never thought I would say it, but I think I could give up sex in exchange for 8 hrs of uninterrupted sleep every night.

Just another day....chronicling the krazy