SORRY, IT WAS A REESE'S KINDA DAY

So, today has been kind of a weird day for me. For starters, I have this pain radiating from my ass down to my toes. What the fuck is that? Did I pull my ass muscle? Who does that? How the fuck do you do that? It has me walking funny. It's really not cute. I've been nauseated for almost 2 days now. I'm not sure what that's about. Food, meat in particular, has been tasting really funny to me. I had shrimp that tasted like crap, & I love most seafood. I had chicken another time...took 2 bites, and threw that shit away. I think my lithium is fucking with my taste buds. It's so bad, I could eat lettuce for the rest of my days & be fine. I forgot to mention that detail to my head doctor. Even with the weird & bothersome physical shit going on, guess what....are you ready???

MENTALLY, I'M FEELING PRETTY FUCKING NORMAL TODAY!!!

I'm in uncharted territory, so I'm winging this shit. I mentioned in an earlier post that I pretty much have had 7 fuck buddies so far this year. Well, 3 of them (including Mr. C) called me for a booty call tonight. Then some new guy that I hardly know, & haven't met yet, asked if he could come over tonight. He has a fiance & baby at home. WTF? Did Dasani start putting Viagra in the fucking water? Ordinarily, I would probably hand out appointments & shit. You know, boredom & hypersexuality gets the best of me at times. I wasn't feeling all that shit today. Granted, I feel like I'm gonna barf at any moment. I'm still proud of myself for ignoring these sorry bastards. I felt like I was able to think a little more clearly. I'm by no means Ms. Morality, but 2 of these men are married & 1 engaged. Let's keep it real here, if I'm gonna be your whore on the side...What bill you want to pay? Rent, lights, phone....shit, pick one motherfucker! As if all that drama wasn't strange enough, another guy hit me up on Facebook. He's friends with my cousin, and lives in Missouri. You guessed it, MARRIED. I heard all the usual lines that married guys say...

1. I'll lose military benefits if we divorce right now
2. She has no family or friends, so I'm helping her until she can support herself when she rides out
3. She's let herself go since we've been married
4. She won't clean up, or do shit in the house

he threw in one I haven't heard before....

5. It takes an act of God to get her to orgasm

then there is my all time favorite....

6. She's a Bitch

Ok, so what the fuck does that make you since you married her? Why in the hell are you trying to holla from Missouri anyway? Holla loudly bitch, cuz I ain't hearing you! I swear, I must have a magnet for married/unavailable men. I have a pretty good Gay-dar, but I suck at scoping out the M&M's. (married men). M&M's are yummy, but in moderation. Oh, & oddly enough, he registered on the Gay-dar. Then, he felt the need to say he was completely straight. Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself? He also had the nerve to say I was bisexual. Just because I got down with a girl doesn't necessarily make me bisexual. I have no attraction to women, I just happened to have slept with one. There's a difference. I was sexually adventurous...get it right! I have tons of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, & drag queen friends...so fucking what. I just consider myself to be straight. I do have tons of fun in the gay bars though. I used to think that the swingers lifestyle was a bit much, but having 5 swinger friends, I get it now. That's pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. I haven't been to my 1st swinger's party yet, but it is on the To Do list. I turned down my first 2 invitations. My nerves eat me up at times. My BFF's mom wanted me to go with her to one. She's known me since I was 12yrs old. She is practically my 2nd momma. I felt weird about that one. I'm gonna need a whole lot of liquor & a fat one for that night, but I'm going to do it. Eventually. So, today was a weird, but much improved in my krazy life. I'm not saying I won't be a party animal tomorrow, but for today, I made a very good decision. YaY! Alright krazies, sending happy thoughts & happy pills your way =)